There are times when I just want to leave everything behind and go to a place where no one knows me.
Just like what Kafka did when he was fifteen.
But I can't.
How I wish it's an easy thing to undertake.
But it's not.
How I wish I have the strength and determination to do such a thing.
But I don't.
The most that I can do is shut myself out from the rest of the world even for just one day.
To be consumed with all the thoughts that are hammering through my mind.
To allow myself to feel the pain.
To just wallow for a moment.
Drop my guard and let the walls down.
I was about to that last weekend but some other thought stopped me.
I am scared.
Scared of what I can do to myself.
And afraid of what may come after.