[sob] love letter. 21/08/2010
I am in pain. So great I can't even find a word to describe it. I'm trying to search my heart what's causing this pain but there's just nothing that could justify it. I guess it's my mind again. Maybe, that's what you always tell me. I try not to think about anymore. My mind and heart are completely disconnected from each other, I try to busy myself with other things but my heart... It's just there. I can't ignore the fact that it's still in pain. Hurting. The pain gets worse at times, it's as if I can already feel its intensity on my skin. It's so real I can feel the physical pain. And that's when I notice that I've never really stopped crying. The tears are just tucked away, but they're lurking in the shadows. Tell me that you love me, and they're bound to fall. No, I am not complaining. I am simply letting you know that right now, I am on an emotional rollercoaster. I am not stable, thus the mood swings. I am not okay. I am far from being okay. I would no longer ask you for patience or understanding. All I need you to do is hold my hand. Wait for me. And stay with me. I cannot promise you good days all the time. There will always be days like these - emotional breakdowns here and there, but I do know that there are also days when the sun comes out and I hope that you'll be there through it all.
I love you, always.