The past three months have been very terrible. It all started with getting laid off from work without notice. I cannot find the right words to describe how it felt. Unjust, cruel, unfair, to say the least. My patience, faith, strength, grace, and everything positive have been tested severely and I'm glad I have come out of it alive. I wouldn't have made it without the help and support of my family and friends, but most of all, without the grace and faithfulness of the One Above.
I am just very thankful that the worse, for this year at least, is finally over. I don't want to become complacent, I know that the tests and trials wouldn't really end, but at least I know that whatever happens, there's someone I can hold on to. And that person is, hmm, me. It always starts with me.
As I'm turning over a new leaf, I guess it's about time for me to value myself more than I ever did in my life.
I have doubted and second-guessed myself so much. I have always been the pessimistic, cynic, and pensive one. I am afraid of failure, so I don't really try to go for the things I want. I am afraid of disappointment, so I try not to expect a lot from people. I am afraid of rejection, so I try to keep my thoughts to myself.
I am afraid. I fear a lot of things.
Maybe it's high time that I go out of my comfort zone and just let myself go. After all, I only have one life to live, so what do I have to lose?
And as one of my favorite Rent songs goes:
Forget regret-- or life is yours to miss.
No other road
No other way
No day but today
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today.
Exactly what this blog is all about. :)